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  They can say what they want about me for the next 365 days but I won’t allow them to behave poorly to Sylvia.

  I watch Joshua’s mother drop her fork onto her plate and lean back with a horrible look on her face. It was the same look I remember when she was getting ready to order our staff around years ago and I’m ready for her. She will not insult my family while I’m in the same room and Sylvia is more my family than she ever was.

  “No, Dear. I’m not talking about Sylvia. I only see one charity case here. Tell me, Emilia, how does it feel to be completely broke?”

  For a moment, her words confuse me as my brain tries to catch up to the direction she’s going in.

  She knows.

  But how does she know about this? Noah said he was the only one who was told outside of the lawyers.

  Joshua.

  I shift my eyes to settle on him and he’s looking at his mother, stunned.

  Of course he told his mother. They’re in this together, the voice in my head reminds me. He’s obviously shocked she’s sharing their little secret.

  As his eyes shift back to mine I feel my body become fire hot. I know my cheeks are flushing red from the inside out.

  “What is she talking about, Ems?” Kyle’s voice beside me is the only thing grounding me right now. I didn’t tell him everything today. I didn’t tell him I could lose everything and, at the moment, I am utterly poor and relying on the mercy of the one man who has always been out to take everything I hold dear.

  And I didn’t tell him about what has been happening between Joshua and I. I can’t manage to bring that to my surface right now.

  I’ve been a fool to let my guard down around him.

  I sit still, looking at Kyle as he waits for my response but I don’t want to answer him. Not here in front of them.

  “Well, there’s a little thing in her father’s…” Cordelia starts but her words end abruptly as Joshua cuts her off.

  “Mother, enough.”

  And that is it. I’ve had enough.

  “Kyle, I’d like to leave now, please.” I’m shaking so hard on the inside but my volume is barely above a whisper. It is taking every ounce of strength I have left not to yell and scream at the two monsters sitting across from me.

  “You’re not going anywhere.” Joshua’s calm voice draws my attention and I know I look shocked as my head swivels over to him.

  I know he’s talking about his stupid rules. I’m ready to tell him where he can shove his rules.

  Instead, I grit my teeth together and remind him of his first rule without sharing with the table that we have these rules between us, unless Joshua already told his mother about that too.

  “I am leaving. I’m going with Kyle to his hotel room to spend the night. I’m telling you where I am going.” The utensils shake out of my hand as I set them on the plate and I stand slowly causing Kyle to rise with me.

  Joshua and his mother stay seated and I notice Sylvia out of the corner of my eye at the door. Her face looks sad for me and I feel as though my anger is going to turn into sobs very soon.

  This isn’t the way anything was supposed to go. This was my father’s house. It should be my house yet I’m the one who has to leave tonight and that vile woman gets to sit at his table and eat his food.

  I take Joshua’s silence for acceptance and I turn to leave as I hear his chair slide back along the floor behind me.

  “While I appreciate that, I have decided you will stay here tonight.” Joshua’s words freeze me in place.

  I force myself to turn around. I feel my tears coating my eyes. One blink and they’ll trail down my face.

  “Don’t.” I start. It’s my attempt at firing off a warning shot.

  As I wait for his response, I notice his mother watching everything unfold in front of her and the horrid smile on her face tells me she is taking a disgusting level of pleasure from my pain. It’s the same look she had when she took my father for most of his money.

  There’s my line. I feel it in my bones. This isn’t going to end well for me. Joshua controls everything right now. If I fight this, I’ll be leaving here penniless. As everything begins to fold in on me, my hands begin to shake uncontrollably at my sides.

  This is not the hill you want to die on. I hear Noah’s words from last night play into my head.

  “Emilia, I…” Joshua starts and I make one last attempt for myself.

  “Please…” My plea comes out in a whisper and I suck in some air before my sobs escape too.

  I’m silently pleading for his mercy in front of everyone. A kindness I’m no longer sure lives inside of him. I’m asking for a leniency I know I don’t deserve in his eyes. I’m throwing myself at his feet and asking for the permission to run away again. I need to be in a safe space and it is no longer in the house I once called home.

  The air around us feels thick as he continues to stare silently at me. Everyone remains still as statues as Joshua weighs my words before dropping his napkin onto his plate. Then finally, with a deep breath, he answers.

  18

  Joshua

  “What the hell was that about, Mother?” I ask as I stomp back into the dining room.

  Watching Emilia’s face fall when she realized the insult was aimed at her almost crushed me but it was nothing compared to the look on her face when she glared at me. Any hope for the progress I made with her over the last day is gone.

  Cordelia washed it all away with one sentence. And now we’re back to square one. Actually, I need to work to get us up to square one.

  When she announced she was leaving tonight, I panicked. Telling her in front of everyone that I wouldn’t allow it was a poor decision but I instantly felt dread. The fear she might not return to me painfully clawed into my bones.

  After all of this and she’s was going to walk out of here with Kyle. He would have her to himself, alone for a night to convince her of all of the reasons she shouldn’t open herself up to trusting me.

  With the decision to keep her here, I began to speak and in a second, everything changed. Her soft plea screamed into my soul and my heart clenched tight at her pain.

  Watching her try to fight back her own tears, I realized I wasn’t doing what was best for her. I was treating her as my possession and I was catering to my own fear rather than focusing on hers.

  It’s no secret how much she hates my mother. Yet there she stood, humbling herself in front of everyone, asking me to protect her and I can’t even get that right.

  Letting her leave with Kyle was the right decision. The history she shares with my mother cuts deeper than I thought it did and I didn’t realize how hard she had taken the divorce even after all of this time.

  As soon as I nodded to release her for the evening, she turned and left, only waving meekly to Sylvia.

  I followed them into the front hall and waited for Kyle to leave before requesting she message me in the morning and be home before Sunday dinner, promising we would be eating alone to discuss the week and her father’s funeral.

  I watched her move cautiously down the stairs to the car and I instantly felt regret. I should have known they wouldn’t get along. I should have kept them separate until much later. I need to help Emilia overcome her childhood grudge against my mother, but now wasn’t the time and Cordelia did nothing to stifle the situation.

  “What? You know that one has had it in for me since the day I first walked into this house.” My mother responds as she takes the last sip of her wine.

  “Emilia is mourning the loss of her father. This is not the time to air your grievances.” I chastise her as I walk back to my seat and grab my glass. As I take a generous gulp, my question registers. “How did you know about the contents of the will?”

  Crossing her arms, she leans back in her seat to answer. “Adam and I shared a piece of property when we were married. He turned it over to me when he passed. As a beneficiary in Adam’s will, I can request a full copy.”

  Her answer catches me off-gua
rd. I forgot about the small mention of her in the will. I wanted the chance to explain Adam’s final wishes regarding Emilia better.

  And now not only does my mother have the wrong idea about Emilia’s misfortune, Emilia must think I’ve been sharing everything about her with my mother behind her back.

  I know deep down, my mother is hurt by Emilia’s refusal to ever accept her as family. Over the years, her disdain has only grown.

  “Listen, what you read in the will is…” I start my explanation, but she cuts me off.

  “It’s fantastic, Joshua. Adam left everything to you. I knew he saw through that girl’s lies. I knew it.” Years of resentment billow out with her words. I have the feeling I don’t know the whole story but now isn’t the time to dig up the past.

  “No, Mother. It’s not what you think. Emilia is here for the year to learn the business. Adam wanted to make sure Connor Realty would continue on. After the year, she will take over half the company. It’s my responsibility to see she is brought on fully and prepared for her role.” I answer, sitting down in Kyle’s vacant seat.

  There’s no point in bringing my plate over, I’ve lost my appetite.

  “Yes, but I also read the part about you needing to sign off. If you can prove she isn’t fit after the year or if she decides to leave, it’s all yours.” I see the hope in her eyes and I’m sad that she isn’t thinking about Emilia right now.

  Even at half the estate, there is more than enough money for many lifetimes of secured futures. I know she still feels left out with the small settlement she received and this is somewhat of a judgement day for her.

  “Mother, what Adam has willed to Emilia is rightfully hers. At the end of this year, I will sign off on her commitment and I do hope she stays the year.” I try to keep my cool as I respond. I don’t want to discuss the feelings I have for Emilia with my mother and I don’t know how to make myself more clear.

  Tonight has shown me how alone Emilia is. I won’t leave her in her solitude. We have one year to undo all of those years of pain and in that moment when she pleaded with me to leave, I decided I would do everything in my power to make her mine.

  “Well, it’s been one day and she already left.” She says matter of factly and I don’t have it in me to discuss Emilia any further.

  “It’s getting late and I have some arrangements to make tomorrow for the funeral.” I say as I stand and Sylvia clears her throat at the door, holding my mother’s coat. I have a feeling she’s been waiting with her jacket for awhile.

  Circling the table, she stops in front of me with her arms outstretched and I return her hug, then say my goodnights. I’m too tired to escort her to the door.

  Pouring myself one last drink for the night, I pull out Emilia’s chair at the table and sit down. The smell of sweet ginger still lingers on her seat.

  I wish I did so many things differently tonight.

  Letting Emilia walk out of here with Kyle in the state she is in, took more composure than I thought I was capable of. Every inch of me wants to go to the hotel and drag her back home, to her home and take care of her.

  This is where she belongs. I know she knows that.

  Instead, I let her go. I gave her permission to remove herself from something she felt was unsafe for her.

  She felt I was unsafe for her.

  “Mind if I join you?” Sylvia asks from the door, startling me back to the room.

  “I’m not sure I’m good company right now.” I answer, silently hoping she doesn’t leave me here to play out all of the scenarios of what Emilia is doing with Kyle right now.

  Before I finish my response, I hear liquid filling a glass and Sylvia pulls out the seat I sat in earlier.

  “You both have such a history.” She starts and I chuckle.

  “Of course. She’s my mother.” I answer.

  “I’m talking about you and Emilia. As much as you both try to run away from each other, you always end up back in the same place.” Sylvia offers as she takes a sip of the wine, then laughs to herself. “Ugh, this table wine is the cheap stuff, isn’t it?”

  I smile along with her. Adam knew his expensive drinks. He stocked the best, but when it came to the cheap stuff, he was awful.

  “I never ran away from Emilia.” I speak my thoughts out loud.

  “Oh, yes you did. And more than once. Do you remember the night of Emilia’s thirteenth birthday?” She asks, then takes another sip, waiting for me to recall the memory.

  “No. I don’t remember it.” I finally answer.

  “That’s because you weren’t there.” Sylvia smiles at me and I already know I’m not going to like this story as she continues, “Adam had an important meeting out of town and he had told Emilia all about it. They were going to celebrate when he got back. She decided she’d have a little birthday dinner anyway and asked if I would invite you. I had told you about the dinner and you said you’d be there. Emilia spent all day trying on different dresses and doing her hair. I bought her a little makeup kit for her first teen birthday with lip glosses and she tried every one of them on. She was so excited.” As she tells the story, my heart sinks a little.

  Now I remember her telling me about the dinner. Earlier that day I was mad at Emilia for knocking a picture of me and my dad off the table. She was always so clumsy. I made plans with friends to get back at her for breaking the frame I made specially for it in shops class. I handled my feelings poorly back then.

  Just as I begin to feel awful, Sylvia continues, “Then dinner came and she sat in her seat and waited. I found out you left a message with our old maid that you were going out for awhile. When I told Emilia, she said you were probably just out getting a gift.” I’m close to asking her not to finish, but I need to start knowing the real Emilia. “Then she showed me a shoebox and told me that she got you something, too. She still had hopes you were coming back. After two hours passed, I came back into the room to convince her you weren’t coming and she wasn’t there. I finally found her in the tree fort she built with her dad. She pulled out her pillow and a blanket and she sat there, cuddled up and clutching onto her little shoebox. I asked her if I could sit with her for a bit and she said she would wait for you by herself. She only wanted to spend time with you and you left. I finally had the chef carry her sleeping body in before he left for the night. After that day, I don't think she ever went out to her fort again.”

  Sylvia takes a long pause followed by a deep sigh. “My point is, both of you have run away at different times. I know Emilia better than anyone left here and I still see how much she needs you even if she doesn’t realize it yet.” Standing with her glass, she walks toward the kitchen door. “Give her time. I’ve got to get somethings done. It’s getting late.”

  “Wait, Sylvia.” I call her attention before she disappears behind the door. As she peaks her head back in the room, I ask, “What was in the shoebox?”

  “I never looked in it. As a matter of fact, I think it’s still out there. I saw it a couple of years ago when I remembered the fort and went out to check on it. There is a shoebox in one of the corners. It was closed though. For all I know it could be empty.” Sylvia stays in the doorway waiting for my next question. She knows me too well.

  “Where’s this fort?”

  19

  Emilia

  “Can we talk about what happened?” Kyle asks cautiously as I enter from the bathroom, tying the complimentary robe around me to hide my flimsy sleeping attire.

  “Are you asking as my boyfriend or my therapist?” I answer as I sit on the couch he’s relaxing on.

  “You’re deflecting. That’s your therapist speaking. I’ll bill you later.” He starts with a smile and I smile back and relax a bit.

  Kyle and I were friends for a few months before we started dating. I met him at the bar during one of my shifts. My roommate, Kelly was in one of his psychology courses and the class met up to celebrate the end of their finals one night.

  After a long few hours of toasts, dancin
g and shots, he made his way over to me to ask me out saying my roomie thought we would be good together. Of course she remembered nothing in the morning.

  I ended up giving him my number but I made it clear I was only interested in being a friend. I know I’m not what most of these guys want. My daydreams tend to lean to a darker place and I didn’t feel comfortable exposing myself to a friend of my roommate’s.

  He accepted my friendship and we ended up spending a lot of time together. We had a long break at the same time during the day and we’d meet around campus to work on our own class work together.

  We shared none of the same interests in school but I enjoyed his company.

  It turned out he didn’t know my roommate very well after all and our friendship slowly became more closed from the rest of my friends so I felt a little more secure sharing parts about me I didn’t normally talk about.

  It was during the holidays last year when Kyle asked me why I wasn’t going home that I decided to open up a little more and he became a bit of a confidant for me, offering advice and some coping techniques to help me in times of high stress and anxiety.

  I told him about my family, and about Joshua and his mother, and he’s always been there to lend an ear whenever I need it.

  Our romantic relationship is still new. He knows I have hesitations but I haven’t told him all of the reasons why yet. I thought we would have more time to talk about all of that and now, we’re about to say goodbye.

  The last time we spoke about my home was just before I left. I told him I was coming here to take everything back and that I’d only be gone a week or so, then I would be back to finish off my school. We are both in our final years so, after that, we would both be free to go wherever we wanted.

  It was going to work out perfectly.

  Except it’s far from perfect.

  “That is my life for the next year, Kyle. I don’t know if I can make it.” I start and he leans over to slide a cup of tea in my direction.