Step Darkly Read online

  Now none of it matters; except if I don’t do what is required, I have no money, no home and my education stops immediately.

  Entering the foyer, Joshua places his hand on my lower back a second time. I wasn’t ready for this contact either and I freeze. My anxiety is beginning to eat me up and his touch is affecting me and I don’t know why.

  Breaking away, I take a large step out from him, forcing him to drop his hand by his side and as I turn to look at him, he’s staring at me again.

  “I’m tired. I think I’d like to skip dinner and go to sleep.” I half ask. I’ve lost my fight for the night and I don’t want to lose any more privileges today.

  “When did you last eat, Emilia?” My name sounds odd coming from his lips and, although his voice is stern, his face shows concern and it catches me off guard.

  “Just before I got to the office. It is why I was late.” I lie. I haven’t eaten yet today but I’m not about to sit down with him to a nice little dinner like we are a big happy family. I have no family here.

  “Very well. I’ll ask the cook to bring a light meal to your room later. Come.” Without checking to see if I’m following, he leads me up the stairs of my own father’s house and I feel a small spark of anger start to flicker inside of me. This isn’t his home to lead.

  Reaching the top of the stairs, he walks past the spare bedrooms then stops in front of my old room and my words are out before I can control myself.

  “Let me guess, you’ve taken my father’s room.” I know it wasn’t called for. I feel like I have nothing left and I need to get a reaction out of him. I want him to feel the anger I feel.

  Dropping his cool facade, he steps into me and I can’t help the deep gasp of breath I take as I back into the shut door behind me and he doesn’t stop.

  Standing flush against my front, he pauses and looks at me and I feel my stomach tighten.

  I don’t know what he’s going to do.

  I gather the courage to look up at him, towering over me and that’s when I see something in his eyes. A confidence, maybe. A primal confidence as his lips twitch at the corners and he leans into me more and I feel like I’m shrinking.

  “No, Emilia.” The way he says my name now is thick. Almost intoxicating and I hold my breath, waiting for him to continue. “I’ve taken the second master. I’m down the hall from you.”

  I swallow hard as I glance down the hall and my brain starts to imagine what his room must look like.

  What am I doing?

  My body begins to tremble from the inside and I need to move away from him and be by myself. Grabbing the handle behind me, I let the door fall open as I step into my old room.

  I feel the blood drain out of my face as I look around the room I once lived in. It’s exactly the same as it once was. Nothing has changed, nothing was taken away.

  “I can’t stay in here.” I blurt out. My panic is doing the talking for me.

  I was sure my dad would have changed this room after I left, but he didn’t. Everything is the same. My bedspread, teddy bears, even my dresser and little vanity. This is a teenager’s room, and it holds so many bad memories for me.

  “Making demands already? We’re just getting started.” I hear the frustration in his voice and I don’t deserve any of it.

  “I’ll stay in one of the other rooms.” I offer as I try to step into the hall, but Joshua doesn’t move to let me pass.

  “You’ll stay in this room tonight. None of the other rooms are made up. So you’ll sleep in here…” Then he leans into me as he lowers his voice. “Or you’ll sleep with me.” And I step back at his suggestion.

  Concern begins to claw through my conscience. I’m not worried about his comment though. I’m troubled by my body’s reaction to his words.

  I’m too close to everything right now.

  As if catching himself, Joshua takes a small step back and changes his tone.

  “My apologies, Emilia. I will see about making up another room for the night. I skipped my lunch for our meeting and I’m hungry. I’m going to eat some dinner and I’ll be back up to see you later.” He offers me a nod, then steps out of my room and closes the door behind him, shutting me in like I’m a child.

  I feel my defiance settling into me. Joshua Darkly is not my owner and I am not a child. I won’t stay here in my room waiting for him to check in on me.

  I’ve worked too damn hard for five years to separate myself from that little girl to just welcome her back.

  Grabbing my phone, I open up my Facebook app. I haven’t been on this thing in forever. Scanning through my old friend list, I click on the name I’m looking for and send off a message.

  Me: Hey, it was so good to see you at the office today. Are you up for some catching up?

  I place the phone on the bed and open my bag to look for some more comfortable clothes. I don’t get the first item out when my phone pings out its response.

  Rosie: I was just telling Vicky and Marta you were back. We’re having drinks at The Hole. Why don’t you come down? We’ll be here all night. We missed you.

  Me: I’ll be there in 20. I’m calling a car.

  I still have a couple hundred dollars left to my name and I’m going to enjoy myself on it.

  Trading my stuffy office outfit in for a pair of jeans and a low-cut top, I skip into the bathroom to fix my makeup then make my way out of the bedroom and down the hall, careful to avoid any staff or Joshua himself.

  I’m not that same girl who left here five years ago. I’ve grown up and I refuse to be treated like a charge.

  Tomorrow, I’ll begin my year and I’ll make Joshua hate every second of it.

  But not tonight.

  Tonight is mine.

  7

  Joshua

  When I half suggested Emilia share my room with me tonight, I felt an invisible punch to my gut. Why now, after all of this time and all of her lies and games? Her defiant nature speaks to the part of me I keep well-hidden. A part that really wants to rise to the challenge and rein her in.

  She hasn’t even spent a whole night in this house and she’s already dictating which room will be hers.

  I almost denied her request but there was something about her expression when she asked for a different room. It was unsettling and I can’t put my finger on why. I will allow her this one thing but this is where it ends.

  Tomorrow we’ll have a discussion about rules and she will obey them. I don’t care if she likes them. She will live by them for the next year and she will quickly learn who makes the decisions around here or she will face the consequences.

  This doesn’t answer the lingering questions I have for myself from earlier today though.

  I react to her, I always have. But why?

  She lit me up like napalm when she challenged me in my office and she softened my frustration when I saw her tears in front of her father’s old house. My entire body is on alert around her and I swing like a pendulum in her presence.

  And now she’s up in her room and I’m down here eating in the dining room by myself. In the silence of the room, I suddenly become aware of my heart, beating a little too fast.

  This is what she does to me. She pushes and she challenges and one day someone is going to push back.

  That day is now and that someone is me, I think to myself as I chew on my rice.

  A throat clears beside me.

  “How is she settling in?” Ms. Billings asks as she refills my water.

  “Sylvia, I told you I can get my own water. Thank you.” I softly remind Adam’s housekeeper.

  “Oh, I know. I don’t mind. There isn’t too much left to do tonight.” She answers as she places the pitcher on the table and I smile.

  Sylvia has worked for the Connors for as long as I’ve been here. This place is as much hers as it is all of ours.

  “Why don’t you join me? There’s too much food here for just me.” I smile and she considers my words as she shuffles in place so I continue, “I know you used to
join Adam for dinner some nights. I’d like to continue that. Please?” I finish, pointing to the unused plate and cutlery where Emilia would have been.

  She takes a second longer, then smiles and nods as she pulls out the chair and reaches across for the spoon to serve herself.

  “How is Emilia? I haven’t had a chance to see her yet.” She asks cautiously.

  “Lively as ever.” I answer.

  Sylvia has seen all of our past in this house. She knows we have a rocky history and she has always been our neutral territory. She’s like a mother to Emilia and she has always been very kind to me, even after the divorce.

  Then I remember Emilia’s room.

  “Oh, Sylvia. Before you go tonight, can you take a small meal up to Emilia, then make up the spare room beside mine?” I ask to a curious expression.

  Sylvia’s mouth is open and it looks as though she’s trying to form her thought when I ask, “What’s wrong?”

  “Well, it’s just that I can’t take Emilia a meal because she isn’t here.” She responds and I’m momentarily confused and wondering if she’s beginning to lose her mind.

  “Of course she is. I just left her in her room.” I answer and she places her fork on her plate.

  “No, I mean I saw her leave about 10 minutes ago. A car picked her up.” I feel the blood rush to my head at her words and I try to keep my composed expression plastered on my face.

  “Did she say where she was going?” I ask evenly as I look down to cut a piece of chicken.

  “Oh, I didn’t speak to her. I saw her through the kitchen window.” She pauses and looks at her plate for a moment then continues, “Maybe I’ll go make up that spare room right now.”

  “No. Leave it. It’s getting late. She’ll sleep in her own bedroom tonight. If you’ll excuse me, I have some things I need to take care of.” I speak as I rise and Sylvia stands with me.

  I quickly thank her for the lovely meal then waste no time making my way to Emilia’s bedroom. Almost everything is exactly where it was except the skirt and top she wore earlier today are laying on the bed.

  Great. She’s changed and I don’t even know what she’s wearing.

  Glancing into the top of her bag, I’m confident she hasn’t decided to fly anywhere since she left most of her personal belongings here.

  Although staying in this house wasn’t explicitly said, I know she knows, it was implied and she’s chosen to disobey me.

  My skin suddenly feels too tight for my body and I stretch the muscles in my shoulders against my shirt. She has no idea who she is up against now.

  I will find her and bring her home if I have to physically drag her back here myself.

  If she had just done as was expected, she’d be getting settled into a new room and we would be off to an acceptable start. Now she’s going to have to earn my trust and work for her rewards.

  I won’t let her walk all over me as she did with Adam.

  Her free ride is going to crash and burn tonight.

  There are easy ways to learn lessons and there are hard ways.

  My heart pounds in delight that Emilia has chosen the hard way.

  8

  Emilia

  I know I wasn’t supposed to leave the house tonight but as each drink went down, I cared less and less.

  I missed my friends. Seeing Rosie, Vicky and Marta tonight reminded me how much. After all of the hugs and group selfies died down, it felt as though no time had passed between us.

  I’ve also always wanted to see the inside of The Hole. When I left for university, I was too young to ever get in.

  So much has changed.

  Looking around the room, I see a group with some old friends of Joshua’s off in a corner. They’re getting louder and louder as the night goes on and I slump a little more in my seat, hoping no one recognizes me; one of them in particular.

  “So when do you leave?” Marta’s question startles me out of my spying as she plunks a round of creamy shots down on the table.

  “Well, that’s the thing. I don’t.” I answer to smiles around the table.

  Rosie takes her shot and pauses for a minute and I know what she’s thinking.

  She was my closest friend all through high school. I told her everything. She knows why I left and it is written all over her face. She’s the only one who knows my secrets.

  “Not that I’m complaining but why are you staying Ems? I mean, don’t you have school?” As Rosie asks her question, her eyes widen. I know this isn’t the question she wants to ask but our friends don’t know my whole story.

  “I’m transferring my classes here for my last year. I’m going to stick around and learn the company. Dad would have wanted that.” Vicky and Marta nod in solemn understanding at my answer and I flash Rosie a quick wink. I’ll tell her everything later.

  “Okay, bathroom?” I stand as I ask for directions and suddenly the last two hours of our drinks catch up to me and I feel wobbly on my feet.

  I rarely drank at university. I took the job at the club to make more money so I could pay my trust fund back faster and so I could see my friends on the weekend. I thought I was killing two birds with one stone.

  All hands point in the direction toward the back of the bar and I glance over to the group in the back corner. Everyone seems preoccupied with each other and I nod to the table and work my way along the bar toward the washrooms.

  A couple of faces look familiar but for the most part, I’m a stranger in this place now and I prefer it this way.

  With only two women in front of me, I pull out my phone and my stomach knots as I scroll down my lock screen. I have a text from my roommate, one missed call from Kyle along with a text saying goodnight and a long list of missed calls and texts from Joshua.

  Shit.

  I feel my stomach heave a little at the thought of tomorrow. I haven’t even been here one day and he’s already imposed his control over me.

  Jamming the phone back into my pocket, a stall opens up for me and I step in quickly. I suddenly feel a small tinge of guilt. Not because I missed Kyle’s call, but because I missed Joshua’s.

  Stepping to the sink, I wash my hands and take a look at myself in the mirror.

  I’m definitely tipsy. My face is relaxed and my hair has flattened a bit but I don’t care.

  A rumble in my stomach reminds me I haven’t eaten since yesterday.

  Double shit.

  This is easily fixable. I reach into my purse to double check the money I have left and it’s enough for some food for the table.

  I make my way back into the hall and walk toward the open bar area when a body steps in front of me, blocking my view.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” I mumble as I move to the side without looking up to let them pass but they move to the side with me, blocking my way again.

  As I look up, my heart suddenly becomes heavy.

  “I heard you were back in town, Emilia.” Sean’s slimy voice slithers into my head and straight into my stomach where all I have is two hours worth of shots and drinks.

  “Excuse me.” I firm my voice and straighten my back, trying to make myself look taller than I am as I take another step to the side, only to be matched and blocked in by him a third time.

  “What? No smiles for your old school buddy?” As his speaks he leans closer, placing a hand on my arm. The smell of whiskey and beer on his breath doesn’t mix well with my own alcohol and I swallow my disgust back down.

  “We were never buddies.” I answer, brushing his hand off and taking a step backward to get some air between us but he doesn’t allow me the distance as he steps into me and the hall begins to spin from lack of oxygen.

  “Well word has it that you are working with us now so we’re going to be buddies. Real close buddies, Feelya.” I swallow hard at the nickname some of the boys gave me in high school.

  Feelya Emilia.

  Triple shit.

  As if my next year couldn’t get any worse.

  “You work for my dad?”
How did I not know this? I should have paid more attention to my father’s business.

  “Yeah. Joshua got me the job shortly after you left.” Then leaning in further, he opens his mouth and I realize, my year could actually get worse. “He got all of us jobs. You know, all of your—buddies.” Punctuating his last word with a sneer, I know exactly what he’s trying to tell me.

  On Monday morning, I’ll be a little sheep walking into the lion’s den.

  My face heats up and I’m not sure if it’s from the shots or the present company and I make one last attempt to pull myself away.

  “Hey, Sean. You okay? The guys are waiting for their drinks.” A deep voice speaks behind him and for the first time he backs up and gives me my space.

  “Yeah. I just got distracted. Saying hi to an old friend here.” Sean answers and I glance over his shoulder to who he is speaking to.

  Noah offers me a nod and I nod in return but I can’t bring myself to smile. Joshua and Noah have been best friends for as long as I’ve known them. He always seemed nice but I never really got to know him.

  Right now, I just want him to remove this nightmare from blocking my path back to my table.

  “Well, come on. I’ll help you carry them.” He pauses, waiting for Sean to go with him and I’m thankful he isn’t leaving without his friend.

  Sean shoots a revolting wink at me and turns to head toward the bar. There goes my plans for ordering food and I make my way back to the table. Glancing at the girls, Vicky and Marta are having a conversation, but Rosie’s eyes are locked right on me.

  My backside doesn’t even hit the seat before she’s talking. “I didn’t even see him in here.”

  “He was in the back corner. It’s okay.” I answer, grabbing for the bottle of water I ordered at the beginning of the night. I really shouldn’t be drunk for this.

  “Do you want to leave? We can go somewhere else.” Rosie offers and everyone at the table perks up.