Step Darkly Page 20

  “I’m disappointed in you, Emilia. All you had to do was follow my rules and do the work.” I stop talking and stand in silence for a long minute, watching her. She’s gone stiff. There is nothing left to say and she knows it. “Bend over the desk, Emilia.”

  “What?” She breathes out and takes another step into the room. She knows she can’t move toward the door because I’m blocking her in.

  “You heard me. Bend over the desk. Now, Emilia.” My words are final. This won’t be a pleasurable experience for her.

  “I c-can’t. P-please. D-don’t. I d-don’t want to be t-touched.” Her stuttering has increased and I notice her worry turn into more of a panic. Considering her response to this punishment, something feels a little out of place and I’m not sure I’ve chosen the best option.

  As I weigh other punishments, my attention falls on her hands as she hugs herself away from me and I decide on a different route.

  “Your mother’s ring. Give it to me, Emilia.”

  “No, please. Don’t.” Tears well in her eyes and I know this is the better punishment so I double down.

  “You’ve requested not to be punished in my office, where Faye may hear you.” I remind her of my leniency, “I’ve chosen an alternative for you. Give me your mother’s ring, for now. You may have it back when you’ve earned it.”

  Emilia’s eyes shift between her ring and the desk, then she slowly removes it from her thin finger and holds out her hand. Taking three steps to meet her, I take it from her and put it in my pocket.

  Dropping her head, she walks passed me, hoping to get out easy but I have other plans.

  “Emilia, you will not go out this week. I’ve instructed Niko to take you to school, then work, then home. I expect you at the house every night and seated at the dinner table.”

  Spinning in place she tries to argue, “Rosie and I we’re going to get our dresses for the awards dinner.”

  “I don’t care.” I know my words sound harsh, but I’m not willing to entertain any requests right now. “I will order you something to wear. I’ll have someone come to the house tonight to fit you. This is non-negotiable, Emilia.”

  She glares at me with defiant eyes. I know she’s plotting the day she is done here and I know I have work to do to get her away from those thoughts, but I can’t allow her disobedience to go unpunished.

  Without a word, she turns and reaches out for the lock on the door. The click echoes into the quiet room and she leaves.

  I once imagined taking a great deal of satisfaction from punishing her, but this leaves me feeling drained.

  44

  Emilia

  The dining room feels larger than it is, when no one else is in it. Glancing around the table at empty seats, I remember a time when every chair had someone in it and the laughter was so loud, I couldn’t help but smile along even though I was too young to understand what was being said.

  The smile on my mother’s face was infectious and my dad was always the one sharing a joke or telling an interesting story.

  Now I’m sitting here, alone. It took everything I had not to defy Joshua’s request.

  Request, I laugh to myself. Joshua doesn’t request. He orders.

  Regardless, it took everything I had to be on time. I was even a few minutes early. Now he is the one who is 10 minutes late and I’m sitting here staring at how alone I’ve become.

  “Emilia?” Sylvia peeks through the door to the kitchen, “I’ve just heard from Joshua. He says he is running late tonight and you are to eat on your own. I’ll bring in your dinner.” Her voice is soft but it echoes into the almost empty room.

  “That’s okay, Sylvia. I’ll take my food up to my room. I can grab it my—”

  “Um, Mr. Darkly has instructed to feed you in here, or not at all and I…” Her words trail off in a heartfelt plea and I understand exactly what he’s telling her.

  “It’s fine, Sylvia. Thank you.” I answer. I don’t want her getting in trouble for me.

  Joshua is making it clear that I am to eat alone in this room tonight. Just like I left him alone to eat by himself every night last week because of the school project I lied about.

  I just needed some space to myself to figure things out. None of this has been easy for me. I didn’t ask for any of this and I worked so hard to put everything behind me and now it’s all catching up and I can’t process everything at once.

  I know this hasn’t been easy on him either. Watching him, I saw how deeply he mourned my father’s passing as well. But there is a big difference between our situations. He lost his mentor and everything else is the same. He has his network of friends.

  I was ripped out of my life. The last member of my family is gone. His mother is awful but he still has her. Looking around the table, I have nothing. This isn’t my life and I don’t belong here.

  “Here we go, Dear. I made a nice vegetable soup and fresh bread.” Sylvia’s motherly voice interrupts my thoughts.

  “Thank you, Sylvia. Would you like to join me?” The expression on her face is saying sorry before she does and I already know what she’s going to say. Joshua has made it clear, I am to eat alone and I let her go. “It’s okay. It smells delicious. Thank you.” I pick up my spoon and grin to show her I’m fine and she returns a smile as she leaves.

  Dinner is a sobering event filled with nothing and no one else but me. The only sound is my spoon as it clinks against the side of the bowl and as my meal drags on, the loneliness I left Joshua to, begins to take its toll.

  As I near the bottom of my bowl, the doorbell echoes through the house and I jump out of my seat, thankful to whoever has broken the silence. Almost bounding across the hall, I swing open the door a little too happy to see the stranger staring wide-eyed back at me.

  “Hello, I’m here for a Miss Emilia Connor.” The young girl glances down at her notepad, then back up at me.

  “That’s me. You are?”

  “I’m Jessica. You can call me Jess. I was sent here for a fitting.” As she speaks she lifts a garment bag and I step back from the door to let her in. “Is there somewhere I can set up?”

  Since I’m not sure when Joshua will be back, I opt for more privacy. “Can we do this in my room?” Jessica nods at my question and I turn to lead her up the stairs.

  Once in my room, I close the door and she drops her bag and goes right to work, unzipping the garment bag and pulling three dresses out then laying them on the bed.

  “Don’t worry about the fit. I can make anything your size. Just take a look at the dresses and tell me which one you like the most.”

  As I take a look at my options, Jessica picks her bag off the floor and begins to pull items out of it. The first dress is a beautiful red but it is a little too short for an awards gala. The second dress is a stunning and simple full-length black sheath gown and I instantly love it. As I lift the third dress, I’m a little confused. It is a form-fitting, short, bright blue dress with a plunging neckline and I’m surprised Joshua would allow this option.

  Sensing my apprehension, Jessica joins me at the bed and gasps.

  “Oh, I am so sorry. I must have gotten this one mixed up with my last client’s wardrobe. I’ll just run out to the car and get your third option.” I grab her arm before she is able to leave me.

  “That’s not necessary. I like this dress.” I reach over and lift the silky black dress up and Jessica smiles.

  “As soon as I saw you, that was the dress I thought would suit you the best, too.” Packing away the other two dresses, Jessica turns and grabs her measuring tape and notepad. “Okay, I just need your measurements. Are you okay to get down to your bra and underwear?” Her question is all business and I get the impression, I’m not the first bare body she’s seen today.

  Shrugging, I step out of my tights and top and stand still, waiting for her.

  “Arms out.” She commands and I follow. As she moves the measuring tape around my body, taking different numbers and jotting them in her book I glance at
the garment bag sitting on my chair. A sliver of the bright blue dress sticks out and my curiosity is piqued.

  “What function is that beautiful blue dress going to?” Jessica looks at me in confusion and I motion in the direction of the garment bag.

  Looking over her shoulder, understanding registers and she thinks for a moment before answering.

  “It’s going to be used at Ravenous this weekend.” Is all she offers me and I get the impression I should understand what that means.

  “What is Ravenous?” Her hands stop working at my question and she looks at me with her eyebrows knitted together like I’m telling a joke, so I continue, “I’m new here.” I shrug.

  “Oh. It’s a club for um… adults.”

  “Oh. And they are having an event?” I try to sound casual but I have no idea what I’m asking.

  “You could call it that. The dress is for a woman who is… um… auctioning herself off this weekend.” Now it’s my turn to freeze.

  “Like selling herself. Does that really happen?” I’ve forgotten myself and dropped my arms. Lifting my limbs back into place, Jessica keeps measuring.

  “I’m not supposed to say anything, but yeah. I guess some women just have no other options. Some men are willing to pay big money for some time with a beautiful woman. The club is really high end. Only the city’s wealthiest are members. They have NDA’s all over the place. I’m technically not supposed to say anything so you didn’t hear it from me.”

  “How much time and money are we talking about?” I skip over her warning and dig in. This is the most interesting thing I’ve heard in a long time.

  “I think the time is negotiable and I’ve heard some of the girls talking. It’s enough to be set up for a long time.” Jessica finishes talking and my mind is so occupied that I fail to realize I’m standing stalk still with my mouth dropped open just gawking at her.

  She lets out a little laugh and I snap my lips closed and smile back as she steps to the dress and takes one last look at it.

  “I think I have everything I need. I understand you need the dress back before Friday. I will do my best to have it to you on Wednesday but no later than Thursday afternoon.” She adds the black dress to the others and zips the bag up as I pull on my housecoat.

  Spinning in place, she looks around to make sure nothing is left behind. Leading her back to the front door, I reach out to shake her hand and she offers me her business card. As her car pulls onto the street, I see headlights turn and pull up our driveway.

  That must be Joshua.

  Closing the door quickly, I run back to my room and close my door.

  Dropping my housecoat on the chair where the garment bag once was, I pull my pajamas on and climb into bed.

  I’m not ready to talk to him again today.

  45

  Joshua

  “Is there anything else we need to discuss?” I check my watch as I ask. I have a conference call in 12 minutes then two more meetings before I can call it a day and it’s already after four o’clock.

  This whole week has been busy and stressful since I called Emilia out on her lies on Monday and I want to get the company dinner over with tomorrow and take the weekend to organize myself.

  “Nothing business related, but—” I’ve barely had time to catch up with Noah and I know he senses something is off.

  “Okay, then. Maybe we can catch up on everything else next week?” I attempt to cut him off and get on with my day.

  “No, wait, Joshua. I know your schedule, you have a few minutes now. We need to talk. What happened?”

  “What do you mean?” Acting oblivious is not my strong suit. I’ve always said what’s on my mind but the truth is, there are too many things on my mind to properly sort out my own thoughts.

  “Don’t play that with me. You know what I mean. Emilia barely looked up when I came in. She looks drained. You’re not looking at me. It feels like you are both just going through the motions this week. What happened?” As Noah talks, I glance up and he’s right. I haven’t been looking at him. I didn’t know his tie was grey and he’s been sitting in front of me for the last 45 minutes.

  “I caught Emilia in a lie on Monday and we had it out. She tried to further lie her way out of it and I punished her for it. She’s been subdued ever since. Faye said she asked to do something that would keep her seated at her desk so she’s updating our electronic databases. I think she’s processing her new reality.” I answer.

  “And you? You’ve been more reclusive this week. What’s your excuse?” He sits back and I look at the time again. Eight minutes.

  “I don’t know. Her punishment isn’t sitting right with me but I’m too busy this week to deal with it. The dinner is tomorrow and we’re still getting some of the winner’s names in from HR and finance. Once the gala is done, I’ll have a couple of days to reassess everything. Did I tell you, she met Alexandra?” Noah looks surprised and I realize it has been awhile since I’ve caught up with my closest friend. “They got along great. It turns out Adam told Emilia about her.”

  “Really? Does she know about the business then?” I shake my head as Noah’s question trails off.

  “No. And she won’t. She’s a long way away from learning about that.” I warn then change the subject, “Any news on Kyle?”

  “Last I checked, he’s still gone. Emilia isn’t on his radar anymore. What’s going on upstairs? I went up yesterday and everything is all over the place.” Noah’s change in conversation gives me pause.

  “I’m having the executive offices redesigned. Adam hired the company to reorganize the floor before he—well—and we couldn’t cancel them so I had some of the plans changed and they are working through the week.”

  Noah sits back for a minute and I feel the time ticking away. I have a conference call in five minutes and I’m beginning to feel the stress of managing the company without Adam. I need Emilia to be caught up today. Not in eleven months from now. I can’t continue on at this pace and it is only going to get busier now that the shock of Adam’s passing has worn off and things are returning to normal.

  “Actually, there is one more thing but it has to wait until next week. Until Emilia gets up to speed, I need your help with some stuff around here. Can I pull you back from assisting the buying teams and give you some temporary responsibilities?” Noah nods at my question. I already knew I could count on him. “Great. Let’s talk about it on Monday.”

  I push my seat back from the desk to indicate the meeting is over and Noah rises, but doesn’t leave.

  “Can I say one last thing—about Emilia?” I answer with a curt nod and wait for him to continue. “Look, I know I’ve said it before but she looks almost repressed right now. You may want to handle her carefully. I don’t know what happened between you two, but taking control of a situation can sometimes mean helping the other person navigate their ship through the rough waters instead of steering it for them. She looks lost and, as your friend, I’m worried about both of you.”

  “I know. Thank you. It’s been a tough time for her. She lost her father and she has these rules to live by. I understand her situation and I support her but I can’t allow her to use that against me and undermine my position. Now, I really need to cut this short. I have two minutes.” I tap a finger to my watch then gesture with my hand to the door and Noah grabs his papers off my desk. I feel bad for ushering him out so fast. I used to have more time to talk to him. “Look, we’ll get together next week. Outside of work and talk about all of this.”

  As we near my office door, Noah’s words blend into white noise as Emilia comes into my view. Typing away at her computer, she doesn’t bother to look up and I realize her demeanor has changed this week. She’s only focused on finishing her work and getting out of here. Her fire has been extinguished and she is deflated. She looks like she used to when she’d try to get my attention and I’d ignore her. This was never my intention. I need to correct this and do something to bring back the person I once saw in her. r />
  “I have all of the staff names for the awards with their write-ups and the Apex Group is on line one for your call, Mr. Darkly.” Faye’s voice catches my attention and I acknowledge her with a smile.

  “Have the printer, add those names to the certificates and make sure everything gets to the hotel for the presentations. Thank you, Faye.” I step back into my office and close the door behind me.

  There will be time to change things between us this weekend, I think to myself.

  46

  Emilia

  Friday morning at the office went by quickly. Since the awards dinner is tonight, everyone is given a half day off to get ready as an added perk to the evening. Things have changed a lot around the office in five years.

  I found out at our team meeting this morning that award winners are given a paid vacation pretty much of their choice and extra holiday time among other things and I can see why everyone is talking about the night.

  I also learned that Joshua has asked Noah to work with him in management and he has granted him many of the tasks I assumed I would be taking over. Not only that, he is having my father’s office renovated and I’ve been excluded on all of the plans and decisions so I can only assume they don’t include me and I feel like I am slowly being wedged out of my family’s company.

  Growing up, I never wanted to believe Joshua was like his mother but more and more I feel like an outsider both in my own home and in my own company. Just like old times, Joshua is excluding me from everything. I don’t fit into management and I don’t fit in with the rest of the staff. I just don’t fit in.

  I could feel my face get hot during the meeting. Tears threatened to spill all over my notebook but I kept silent. Joshua allowed me to get ready for this dinner over at Rosie’s. It’s the first time all week I could go out and I didn’t want to lose this privilege because I asked too many questions or got upset in front of the rest of the team. So I sat silent, appeasing him so I could have this little luxury, and it was worth it.